You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
