Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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