Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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