Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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