If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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