For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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