i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
