sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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