i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
COCAINE IS GR8
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
