the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
