Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
