I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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