If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
