Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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