There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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