question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
