Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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