About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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