He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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