I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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