You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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