it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
