Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
