last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
