margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
