you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
