its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
