Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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