Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
