Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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