I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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