So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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