In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
