It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Acid is not a monday night drug
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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