I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
