You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize