I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
