Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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