Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
