Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
