Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
