I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
