i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
