I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
