so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
