I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I look excited, but its just a facade.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
