We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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