i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
