I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
