smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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