And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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