they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
