Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
