I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
