I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
