people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
