i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just invented taco cereal.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
