i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Houston, we have a squirter
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Randomize
