So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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