i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize